i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
