she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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