Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
