We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
