He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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