dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
