I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize