We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
