no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
