He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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