Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
