Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
