He disabled his match.com account in front of me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
organizing the empties. That sober.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Randomize
