he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
