Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
