OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize