you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Bring me that man meat
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
