You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
did i walk over a car last night?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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