I wanna passion pit in your ass
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize