he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
