I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
