I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
