hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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