were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
