I wish I could teleport
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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