She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
