apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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