just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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