I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
