girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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