I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
