My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize