Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize