yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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