turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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