Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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