Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
