on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize