hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
