I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
