I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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