it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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