Screwed.edu
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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