i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
