last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
