i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
