dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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