:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
