How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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