yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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