Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
