when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
