I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
