i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
