she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
