I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
