nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
