5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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