I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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