K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
and she was petting her beer can
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
