Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Too much gin, very little bucket
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Randomize
