I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
PANTIES FOUND
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
