I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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