isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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