belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
