Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
