I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He told me they were just razor bumps!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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