i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
