you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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