remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
