Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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