After last night, I could never be a politician.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
